Many things in life start as a joke. Sometimes, the best in life grows out of these odd starts. It was kind of as a joke that I set up a website and chat-room about one of my favorite subjects, computers. My thought was it could be used as a place to trade ideas as well as experiences with our cyber companions. It was there I first met her. She posted as "GC" and her first post was something that caught my heart-
GC - "I have no desire to live anymore, my life is over."
Now, most people tend to exaggerate their life or their emotions when online, so I was not too troubled, but still, this person looked like they needed more then help with their computer. I asked why they felt this way and quickly learned I was speaking to a girl who had just gone through a rough breakup. She explained that they had been living together for a while and there had been a big fight. He had stormed out and she was all alone. In desperation, she had turned on the computer and found this site in the favorites list. She really didn't know or care about computers but just needed someone, anyone, to talk to. Six hours later, we were still chatting. I was very tired and finally explained that It was time to go. We agreed to meet up on chat the next night. I was pretty sure she was not going to "off" herself, and headed to bed. My mind was full of thoughts and questions. Who was this girl? What was she like? I thought about what a strange world we live in. A world where two total strangers could meet up and discuss the most intimate and fundamental aspects of life without knowing who each other was.
My day job was at a data processing center. I was a network coordinator and troubleshooter in an office of about sixty five people. Each day brought on a new adventure of miscommunication between the machines and the people who ran them. Most guys would love my job, as the staff was about 90% female. Still, I was lonely. So many happy people all with interesting lives while mine was in it's own form of doldrums. I had gotten burned pretty bad in a relationship and had decided that I should stay single forever! Every time I saw one of those smiling faces, I would think to myself, "I wonder how she would break my heart."
Six pm came and went and GC had not popped into chat. I fixed myself some dinner and ate it watching the screen. Nothing! Had she really done herself in? My mind went over the tale from the night before. How she had given up everything in her life so this guy could make it through collage, only to be dumped like rubbish when he got his first job offer across the country. Maybe he had returned. Maybe she just didn't care to turn on the computer and talk about it. So many unanswered questions. Where did he leave for? What side of the country was she on? The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got. This was the bad side of chat! You get to know someone, yet you have no real connection with them. In one respect they have become a friend, yet at the same time, there was no way you could tell them that. Seven pm came and went. More questions. Had she lost the link? Had her computer stopped working? That would be ironic! The one thing you could really help her with, yet there was no way of helping out! Then, at about eight thirty, a small line of text crossed the screen.
CG - "Are you there?"
My heart leaped! She explained how she had been so depressed that she had come home and fallen asleep. I felt a kind of reassuring feeling knowing she was in the same time zone as myself. Somehow, it made this fragile soul seam a little closer. As we talked I noticed she seemed in better spirits then the day before. Some of the reality had sunk in and some of the desperation had faded away. We even started joking. I learned her name was Gail. I did not push her for her full name as it would not have been appropriate. In my mind, I went over the people I worked with. There were three named Gail. Wouldn't that be wild if it was one of them! Of course, there was always the possibility that it wasn't even her name, but for now, she was Gail. We talked about life. Our loves, our highs, and our lows. I even told her about my fondness for hoop earrings. She told me about her fondness for guys with tight pants! We laughed, or at least indicated we did on line. Something told me that those characters actually represented a real laugh. Mine sure did. We wrapped up the conversation at about two am, with a promise to meet online the next night.
As I was getting dressed for work, I couldn't help but try to find the tightest pair of pants in my dresser. I know, stupid. Somehow though, it seamed fun. What a new concept! I hadn't felt that way in a long time. The first thing I did when I got to work was to look up every Gail that worked there. No, I'm not a stalker, just a romantic. There were three as I remembered. The first was Gail Kramer in accounting. There was a call in for service in her area, so with a spring in my step, I was off. When I walked into her office I almost fell on my face. A beautiful blond with hoop Earrings! Was this her? I could hardly speak. She explained how she was having network speed problems. I watched as she typed. Could those be the fingers that touched my life? I found it very hard to do my job. What was wrong with me? Two nights of chat and I was in love? And I didn't even know with who!
The second Gail was named Gail Cooper. GC? I had to go look. There were no service reports from her workstation, but it was due for some preventive maintenance. This was usually very low on the priority list, but somehow today, it went to the top of mine! I knocked on the wall of her cubicle. She turned around. Short dark hair and... Hoop Earrings! For a second, I froze. Finally, I explained the nature of the call. Once again, I watched her type and wondered. Hey, who was I kidding! The chances that GC being someone I worked with were next to nothing! Still....... What if it was? Life always tends to do those kind of things!
Gail number three was Gail Lorenz. No reason whatsoever to go to her cubicle. What could I think of? She worked in the graphics section. Lots of data transfers! As I walked over to her section, I thought of what I could say. Once again, I stood there and tapped on a cubical. She turned around. Wow! Very long dark hair, and big Hoop Earrings! Well of course, she was Hispanic, I guess I should have figured. Still, there was a box of tissues on her desk. Was she crying? I explained that we had some data speed problems and asked her if she had noticed any. She said no. Something sounded funny about her voice so I asked if there was anything wrong. She laughed a bit and then said, "Just allergies." What was I thinking? Enough of this stupid behavior!
Seven pm on the nose and GC made her appearance. Part of me wanted to ask her if she worked in a data processing center and had she been wearing hoops today, but I thought better of it. Still, I almost froze at the keyboard when she said some guy was acting strange at work today! Oh No! If it was me, she already thought of me as a weirdo! Then she went on to say she had dusted off an old pair of hoops and had been wearing them. I thought to myself that it was a good thing a dry throat didn't show up on chat! Our chat only lasted until about nine pm because I had to go shopping. I was out of cream, and the thought of coffee without cream did not sit well with me. Besides, I was becoming involved here, and that worried me! Her next line really knocked me over. She said that she probably should do a little shopping herself and was out of cream which she needed for her coffee!
If my mind was teasing me before, it had now gone into high gear! Maybe it was just because I was looking, but it seamed it was national hoop day at the market! I found myself looking in the baskets of every girl wearing hoops to see if they had bought any cream! What was going on! I know. I was in love!
I'm not a stalker. I would never even want to bother any person that did not want to be bothered. Yet there I was, asking simple questions about the three Gails I worked with. Ms Lorenz, as it turns out, was married. OK, we can cross that one off the list. The other two Gails however, were both single and both had recent breakups! This is it. I'm going to stop this now. If it was meant to be, I would find out in due course! There was no way I wanted to confuse these girls when the chances were so low that either could be the Gail I had been chatting with! I could not tell GC that I was falling in love with her. It was too soon. It may never be the right time! Once again, who was I kidding. I had never even met her. How could I be in love!
Another day rolled by. Another seven pm conversation. She mentioned how it had been raining. Where was she? It HAD been raining! I had to ask!
JL - "Oh, it was raining here as well today! Are you in the north?"
GC - "Yea, a funny little town, near Northville."
JL - "So, work was ok, no more strange guys?"
GC - "No.. besides, they're outnumbered where I work by strange girls!"
My heart was in my throat! Northville was near! And that comment about a workplace where girls outnumbered guys! No, it's not time yet. I can't ask her out. She's still all freaked out about the last relationship. Have to change the subject!
JL - "Still wearing the hoops?"
GC - "Oh yea! Starting to like them a bit!"
Oh boy! My kind of girl! But what could I do, ask every girl in hoops out? Hummmm... Actually not a bad idea. If I'm going to resurrect my social life, it may a well be with a girl in hoops! Who was I kidding, it was Gail I wanted to meet! Well, I could ask every girl in hoops named Gail out.... No, she's not ready for that. It would end before it started. Best bet is to just keep chatting until things either fade out or heat up.
The next morning, I walked into a wasp's nest. The print server was down and print jobs were piling up like cordwood. I was able to find replacement parts and arranged to have them driven down. The thought occurred to me to take some of the more important print jobs down to the local Speedy Print-shop. With a stack of Zip disks in hand, I was on my way. I had been there before, but now I found myself looking at everything in a new perspective. My eyes immediately focused on the name badge on the girl behind the counter- "Gail C." and yes, she was wearing hoops! I looked around the sales floor and realized that most of the employees were women. It was then that it really sank in. Even if CG's name really was Gail, even if the Northville she spoke about was the one nearby, there were probably ten thousand Gails in the region, and probably hundreds if not a thousand who's last name began with a C. Sure, I could start back-tracing IP hits, hire a private detective, or something equally strange, but is that any way to start a relationship? The next move, if there was a next move, would have to be hers. Still, there had to be some quiet way of encouraging the next move. On the drive back I thought of it!
One problem with an open chat-room is that anyone could post as GC, or JL for that matter. If I was going to be loosing my heart to someone, then it better be Gail, and not some imposter! For that matter, what would I do if some stranger came on and started posting as me and chassed her away? It was time to kill a few birds with one stone. I wrote a new server-side script that would allow the room to stay open to all, but would also allow for members to be identified. If the user chose, they could click away to a special page and sign in with a password of their choosing. Once they did, there name would appear in a special way.
Time to get tricky. What could I use that would be just a tiny bit of a hint? I didn't want to spook her, but I needed to get a message across. Maybe a little heart... Yea, a little red heart. I included it in the code and gave it a test..
JL -"Testing new membership Icon."
It was about five thirty, so I hadn't expected the following reply-
GC - "What's with the little heart next to your name?"
Well, no turning back now! I explained how I had some concerns about imposters disrupting chat and that there was a new option available to sign in and be identified as a member. I explained that she could if she wanted, click on a member link and set up her own name. Gail asked if anyone else would be able to see her password and I told her that no, outside of myself, no one would be able to see it. I waited as she left to investigate. In a few moments, she returned.
Gail - "Oh, this is cool! So now at least you'll know it's really me."
I was breathless! Not only did she decide to use her own name, but seeing that heart next to it was about the cutest thing I could imagine! Somehow, a giant step had been taken tonight! As we chatted, I found myself opening a new window and logging into my management database. I was dieing to see what password she had chosen. Many times, the password says something about the user. This was no exception.... The password she had chosen was "brokenhearted." I knew when I read it that there was a long road in front of me if this was headed in the direction of a romance. I had planned to try to ask her what line of work she was in, but now I knew that I shouldn't. Instead, the conversation turned to relationships that had gone bad and how we let ourselves get used in life. By the time we wrapped up for the night, it was well past midnight. Still, some major things had happened. In addition to getting our ID system straight, I had learned that we had both been through experiences in our lives in which we had given our hearts away only to find them stripped bare and handed back. It took awhile to go to sleep.
At work, I learned that one of the Gails could be crossed off the list. It seams Gail Cooper had been in a relationship alright, but it was with another woman! So much for the GC theory at work! In a way, it was sad, but it reminded me of how hard it may be to find the real GC. Our print server was up and running and a lot of us were so glad that we decided to celebrate by going out to lunch. Whoever was in control of my life must have been having a good laugh! When we got to the restaurant, our waitress's name was Gail, and you guessed it, hoops again!
For two months this went on. Each night chatting with Gail. Each day running into more people who may or may not be my love. I had learned a lot about her, but it was a public chat room so she was very careful about what information she would post. Nothing was in any of the conversations that might bring us together, and she was reluctant to give me an Email address. I could tell that although she loved to chat, she was not ready to bring anyone into her life. On several occasions, the little hearts came in handy as there were people who tried to post as one of us. I now knew of at least twenty people named Gail, who worked at businesses that had mainly women on staff, and who wore hoop earrings. The funny thing is, the chat had become even more important then the search for the person. There was a very powerful bond that we both felt. I had even grown to worry that if we met, we might not like each other as much in real life as we did in chat. Something, however, told me that this meeting would happen, and that this bond was for real.
I had pictured how it would happen, or at least many of the ways it would happen. Maybe, she would just give me her email and we would arrange a date. Maybe I would come across a discarded paper in the trash can with a note at work. Maybe we would both agree to meet in a public place while chatting. I could tell that her heart was starting to heal a little. She didn't dwell on how lousy this guy had been. In fact, much of our time was now spent chatting about our future hopes and dreams in life. Once again, many of these seamed to be shared by both of us.
My encounters with real life Gails continued. At a local mall, I ran into a girl, knocking her bags out of her hand. As we picked them up, she told me her name was Gail! Gail Jones that is. Oh Well! My new accountant was named Gail. Gail Simmons. Darn! On the way home one night, I stopped to help a girl who's car was broken down. You guessed it! Her name was Gail O'Neal. Still, something special happened. When I went to help her, I felt a kind of electricity flow between us. Had I become so wrapped up in this search for CG that I was ignoring any relationship that might happen outside of the chat room? I decided right then and there that this had to stop. Here was a real person, so I did what I usually would die before doing. I asked her out!
I was almost surprised when she said yes. I got her car working and she followed me back into town to my favorite restaurant. You know, the one with the waitress named Gail! This was at least a real person. Maybe the whole chat thing had been a lesson on how to open up to someone and not fear rejection due to lack of attraction. I was ready now to move on with my life, and barely noticed that seven pm came and went. Our banter was very light, never digging into the depths of our souls. I could tell that something was bothering her and I also started to feel bad that I has missed my chat time with my cyber soul-mate Gail C. It came as a real surprise when Ms O'Neal invited me back to her place! In some ways, I wished that she had been my Gail. The small button earrings were a big clue that this was not the case. Still, what did I have to lose! I followed her back.
Her apartment was tidy but small. I sat down on the wing chair that was in her living room. My eyes caught a computer in the next room, and the urge to go on chat was pretty powerful! Still, there was something very powerful about the electricity I was feeling from this Gail. I closed my eyes and tried not to look. Gail came into the room and plopped her coat on the couch. Her face looked distraught. "I don't know what I'm doing", she said, "I have never invited a man back to my apartment. I'm sorry, I think I have to ask you to leave." Oh yea, here was that rejection feeling! Big time! I got up and she walked me to the door. Walking was hard because my heart was in my foot, about the lowest place it could find. There was a coat hook in back of the door. I reached over and grabbed my coat.
The drive home was horrible. It was difficult to see through the tears in my eyes. I got home and flipped on the computer. Maybe, at least, the Gail of my heart would be online. Why should she! Everything else had gone wrong. I went on to chat and my fears were confirmed. No more Gail. My rejection was complete. I don't know why, but my fingers typed out what would be the beginning of my final rejection.
JL - "Gail, I love you."
There it was. Complete with a little heart she could squish when and if she read it. This, I knew, would end any further conversation from her. Her heart was not ready for this. Minutes went by. There was no post. Then....
Huh? This is not what I expected! What was going on? A minute passed... Then a second...
Gail - "A man stopped and helped me with my car tonight.."
Gail - "I though I was ready to open my heart again.. but the funny thing is..."
Gail - "I discovered my heart was already taken... by you!"
I was now shaking! Was this true? What could I say?? OK, take a deep breath...
JL - "This is going to sound crazy, but I think I was that man!"
JL - "Were you wearing button earrings tonight? Not hoops?"
Gail - "OMG! Yes, I mean no.. Yes buttons.."
JL - "OK, I am on my way back! Wear your hoops so I know it's you!"
Gail - "OK, hurry! I'll have them on!"
Usually I'm good about shutting my computer off. Not today! Not now! I jumped in my car and headed to her house! Every red light and slow car seamed to come out to greet me. Was it her??? What If I got there and it wasn't? She'd be wearing the hoops! If not, I'd just make up some lame story. Who was I kidding! Make up a story! I couldn't even think!!
There were no parking spaces in front of her apartment!! I pulled around and parked my car on the grass! Who cares if they tow it! As fast as my feet could carry me I ran to the door! The face I saw stopped me dead in my tracks.... No hoops....
For a second, which seamed like a year, I stood frozen on the front step. Then she yelled, "I couldn't find them! Get in here you silly!" I flew through the door and entered an embrace like I had never felt before in my life! Neither of us could talk! Just half syllables and laughs that lead into a kiss that seamed to last forever! Her eyes had magic in them! This was something I had prevented myself from seeing before! I was overwhelmed! Still, there was one question I needed to ask...
"Why GC ? Your last name is O'Neal?" She laughed. "GC was for Gail Crying! That's what I was doing, crying! I dropped the C later and went with Gail because I was no longer crying! That was thanks to you!"
END
· Posted by hlover
on February 03 2007
In Stories · 8289 Reads ·
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